I recently had the opportunity of enjoying a lovely dinner with a dear friend of mine, AL, who – in addition to being a noted loonie and because she is quite petite – bears the unfortunate nickname ‘Peanut.’
I myself do not use this nickname for her, nor do I encourage others to do so. But stick with her the epithet has.
At any rate, we were discussing the rather sad turn her life has taken recently. Or rather, the sad turn the lives of those around her have taken recently.
I encouraged her to eject these distracting and possibly destructive relationships from her life.
She was reluctant to do so. Why? Well, it appears that my dear friend is ‘nice’… and by nice, I mean she will not assert herself, thinking – misguidedly – that standing up for herself and saying what needs to be said somehow makes her ‘the bad guy.’
I encouraged her to embrace The Dark Side. Get in touch with her inner Sith.
Doing so, I argued, would make her a more effective person and, in time, make her life a lot less complicated and a lot better for her and her young sons.
She needed to become stronger, more grounded, less scattered, more focused.
In short, I urged her to become… Darth Peanut!
Anytime someone tries to undermine her or suggest she is not capable of doing something, I suggested that she should reply with a firm and steady, “I find your lack of faith… disturbing.”
Being firm, asserting yourself, standing up and resisting those who attempt to manipulate and take advantage of you is not, I stressed, being a mean person.
It is perfectly possible to utilize the Dark Side while still maintaining one’s overall cuteness.
I’m not sure whether our dinner conversation helped her in any way. I hope it has.
Until then, I eagerly await feeling a disturbance in The Force.