I have been accused by more than one alleged friend of having an ‘Unhealthy Interest’ in zombies.
Well, honestly. These days, who doesn’t? I mean, really.
Yes, but … these so-called friends are quick to point out that, unlike yours truly, most other (i.e. normal) people…
- Are not lifetime members of The Zombie Research Society (with membership card in wallet to prove it);
- Haven’t given newspaper interviews or had newspaper articles written about them and zombies;
- Haven’t given lectures/seminars on the subject on zombies;
- Aren’t writing an ongoing Twitter fiction ‘journal-style’ story about life in The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse;
- Don’t regularly write blog articles about zombies and The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse;
- Don’t regularly use the expression ‘The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse’;
- Don’t refer to Walmart as ‘The Zombie Serengeti’;
- Don’t have a large cache of weapons  in easy reach of their computer desks;
- Don’t have a 3-month supply of food in the basement; 
- Don’t have a dozen gallons of fresh water and boxes of Twinkies and Strawberry Pop-Tarts  in their apartments;
- Don’t call Twinkies and Strawberry Pop-Tarts ‘The Official Snacks of The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse’; 
- Can’t speak for an hour straight on the most efficient/effective and least efficient/effective ways to kill zombies;
The list goes on, as you can imagine.
Frankly, I don’t see how this interest of mine can be seen in any way as ‘unhealthy.’ If anything, it promotes emergency preparedness which, if done right, ensures survival.
And you can’t get much healthier than ‘not being eaten by hordes of living dead.’
So, back-off, buzz-kills!
You don’t see me kvetching about your ‘unhealthy interest’ in taking long walks and hitting little balls with sticks while wearing stupid gaily-colored pants.
 “You know, my brother once told me that nothing someone says before the word ‘but’ really counts.” (Benjen Stark, ‘Game of Thrones’)
 Off the top of my head (and looking around me): samurai blades, four (2 katanas, 1 wakizashi, 1 tanto); standard machete, one; bayonets, two (1 U.S. Indian wars, 1 French, WW1); Bowie knife, one; gurka knife, one; ‘Book of Eli’ machete, two (1 large, 1 small); ‘Eragon’ medieval dagger (Arya’s blade), one; billhook sickle/machete, one.
 With respect, that’s my mother, not me. I barely have a 6-week supply. Hardly anything, really.
 Twinkies and Strawberry Pop-Tarts are the official snacks of The Upcoming Zombie Apocalypse.