I think I am developing a rational fear of Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann.
At first, I thought Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann were amusing – the way looking at the cover of the old Weekly World News while standing in line at the grocery store was amusing. Oh look! Kim Kardashian’s Butt Explodes! Osama Bin Laden Killed by Chuck Norris! How to Sell Your Soul to the Devil!! Yuks aplenty while waiting for the lady in front of me to dig out the super-duper extra-special coupon that saves her 5 cents and costs me $50 of my time.
Then I heard reports that a disturbing number of Americans were taking the whole Palin-Bachmann thing seriously. Mind you, a disturbing number of Americans take just about anything seriously. A disturbing number of Americans believe they saw Elvis at the local diner last week.  A disturbing number of Americans believe that the lunar landings were fake but space aliens are real. A disturbing number of Americans bought Pet Rocks and The Nothing Book (ask your parents)! You got to take that whole ‘disturbing number of Americans’ thing with a grain of salt.
I’m still trying to coin proper names for the various Palin-Bachmann Symptoms. The taxonomy is proving difficult.
Tea-Party-Terror Syndrome? Scary-Lady Aversion Complex? Oncoming-Train Paranoia? Grizzly Mom Melissophobia?
Perhaps I’m going at it from too narrow an angle. The Palin-Bachmann (P-B) group of disorders may not be entirely psychological but also partly physiological as well. P-B Left-Leaning Inner-Ear Imbalance and P-B Knee Twitch Response could be outward manifestations of pre-existing physical conditions.
Conditioned responses of a more Pavlovian nature would include P-B Repetitive Forehead Percussion Injury, P-B Acute Headache/Migraine Pain and the less common but more serious P-B-Induced Projectile Vomiting.
Have you experienced such symptoms in the last year or seen their effects on those near and dear to you? What do you call it? If we give it a name (or several), we can begin the process of fighting back!
Let’s all make Palin-Bachmann Symptoms Awareness our goal for 2012!
 Full Disclosure: Several years ago, I saw Elvis Presley at the Tim Hortons in Dundas, Ontario. Not the nice new smoke-free Tim Hortons – the older drive-thru Tim Hortons. It was The King!