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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls...

I present to you... (drumroll)...

The Bumblebee Bat

(aka Kitti's Hog-nosed Bat)!

(Craseonycteris thonglongyai - a big name for a little bat)

The smallest mammal in the world is the bumblebee bat (Craseonycteris thonglongyai), weighing in at just barely 2 grams - about the weight of a penny! - and measuring 1 to 1.2 inches (3 cm) in length – about the size of a large bumblebee (hence the name).

Read more… 385 more words

Reblogging one of my most popular blogs from last year. Enjoy!

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Reblogged from The Real Jerusalem Streets:

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As southern Israel is being pounded with hundreds of rockets launched

by terrorists in Gaza, the world is silent.

A few anti-Israel photos have been circulating for years.

The photo of a man holding a dead girl,

tweeted by a UN media employee that received so much attention,

is the same photo that I saw in 2008 under the caption,

Read more… 256 more words

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What I call ‘The Heart of the Old World’ is a Jewish neighbourhood in Toronto located along Bathurst Street between Lawrence Avenue West and Wilson Avenue. My particular little section of that neighbourhood is a kind of wide ‘H-shaped’ area with Ameer Avenue as the left side of the “H”, Bathurst Street as the right side of the “H” and Ranee Avenue as the long crosspiece in the middle.

(The Heart of the Old World – see the wide Bathurst/Ranee/Ameer “H”?)

A heck of a lot of my Jewish life is lovingly crammed into those few blocks. Almost all of my Jewish friends live there, most of them within a block or so north, south or east of Ranee and Ameer.

(Bais Dov Yosef Congregation [door 3407] before the new sign went up)

My tiny shteibl [1], Bais Dov Yosef Congregation (aka Rabbi Bartfeld’s shul, aka The Strudel King) is located on the east side of Bathurst at the corner of Ranee. It used to be an old store and is now my spiritual home. I know most of the guys there. I study there. I pray there. It’s where I discuss and debate and argue. It’s where I recharge my spiritual batteries. It’s where I am closer to G-d.

A lot of neighbourhoods in Toronto, as with other large cities, are a block-by-block proposition. Within this particular few blocks of Bathurst Street it is practically a door by door proposition. The Gur Shteibl (aka The Gerer Shtiebl) is a few doors down from R’ Bartfeld’s shul. Stepping inside the Ger on a Friday evening, you can almost feel the holiness there!

Both are across the street from Isaac’s Bakery.

A few doors further up Bathurst and you are at the Grodzinki kosher bakery. The Grodzinki’s have been bakers in England since 1888. In 1999, the first Grodzinski bakery was opened in Toronto thus continuing the family baking traditions into the fourth and fifth generations. It’s worth it just to step inside and breathe in the goodness. Their baked goods are out of this world. Aside from the challahs hand-made by my dear friends Sheryl Burke (Toronto), Channa Lavin (Hamilton) or Aviva Cohen (Winnipeg), the Grodzinki challahs are near or at the top of the list. [2]

A few more doors up Bathurst and you are at the Aleph Bet Judaica bookstore owned and operated by a seriously cool Israeli family. Whenever I am coming into town for Shabbes (Sabbath) or a yontiff (Jewish holy day), I make a point of going into this book store  first and buying as many English language Jewish newspapers as I can get a hold of… Yated Ne’eman, HaModia, Canadian Jewish News, Jewish Press and even ‘that shmatta’… The Forward, (i.e. The Jewish Daily Forward, which is actually a weekly).

(Inside Milk N Honey… a very heimishe place)

One door up from Aleph Bet is Milk ‘N Honey kosher dairy restaurant and catering. Wonderful stuff in a good, friendly and heimishe [3] atmosphere.

The very next door up is the incredible Umami Sushi… Toronto’s Original Kosher authentic sushi establishment. It opened in the summer of 2001, and has since become the premier choice in Toronto for Sushi. Andrew Novak has been involved with Umami Sushi since 2002. In 2007 Sarah & Andrew Novak purchased Umami Sushi and, continuing in the Umami Sushi tradition, Andrew provides the best and freshest product available. (Full disclosure… Sarah Zeldman-Novak is a friend of mine) It’s basically a take-out and catering place although you could pull up a stool at the counter at the front window and have a sushi snack right there!

(Umami Sushi – Notice the Milk N Honey sign in the top right corner!)

I don’t know why this appears to be so… but while most regular run-of-the-mill garden variety (i.e. non-Orthodox) Jews love chinese food, a great many Orthodox Jews adore sushi. I am no exception although I recently realized I have developed a mild allergic skin reaction to wasabi. I disclosed this shocking development in a previous blog. I don’t want to get into it right now. It’s still too upsetting.

(Toronto Kosher, at the former location of Stroli’s Strictly Kosher Foods)

The very next door up is Toronto Kosher. Great place for grabbing things at the last minute for Shabbes dinner but I have to warn you, the closer you get to closing time, the more jam-packed and crazy it’s going to be in there! [4]

A few doors up is Negev Book & Gift Store, another wonderful Jewish bookstore. I try to split my business between Negev and Aleph Bet so they can both earn my money and I don’t favour one over the other. Parnassa (‘livelihood’ in Yiddish and Hebrew) is a very important concept in Judaism and I feel obligated to try to give my business to as many people as I can.

Across the street from Aleph Bet, Milk N Honey, Umami Sushi and Toronto Kosher is Kosher City Plus. This is a kosher supermarket with a wide selection of products. I don’t think I have ever seen Kosher City Plus with fewer than 20 customers in it at any given time. The place is always packed. The produce is good and it is just so great walking up and down the aisles and not have to worry about whether the product you want is kosher or not. EVERYTHING is kosher there so just grab what you like! For a view inside Kosher City Plus, check out this YouTube music video, ‘Yalili in Toronto’.

A few doors up from Kosher City Plus is Hartmans Fine Kosher Foods… an old-fashioned butcher shop with modern sensibilities. There’s a full-service meat counter and everything is cut on the premises, so customers’ specifications are easily accommodated. A wide selection of prepared foods (from spicy eggplant salad to the ever-popular chopped liver) makes it easy to put together a quick and delicious meal. There is also a range of items that caters to the local South Afri­can market, including such finds as boerwurst and biltong jerky. Can’t say that I’ve ever eaten boerwurst and biltong jerky myself but my Capetown and Jo’burg friends assure me that I am a fool for not trying this stuff.

(Dairy Treats European Café & Bakery)

Right next to Hartmans is the Dairy Treats European Café & Bakery, a wonderful kosher place for breakfast or lunch. Great food in a casual, friendly atmosphere. Last time I was there, it was shoulder to shoulder throughout the restaurant but everyone was really enjoying themselves.

(Tov-Li Pizza, Falafel & More)

Across the street from Dairy Treats and just a bit up from Negev is Tov-Li. I recently had one of their famous falafels. It was SO delicious and very filling! Perfect for a quick satisfying lunch!

Across the street from that… and up the street from that… and a few doors past that… and across the street from that… and beside that… and next door to that…

And… this is not to mention the dozen or so synagogues and other religious and cultural organizations scattered about in these few small blocks including one that is most near and dear to my heart, the Canadian office of Jews for Judaism!

It is a fabulous part of town and it is so vibrant and full of life. I would expect that many people drive by it or through it and hardly notice an entire Orthodox Jewish culture and civilization right under their noses and under the radar… unseen and yet in plain sight. All you have to do is look… really look… and a whole new world will open up to you!

Wednesday evening, September 28, 2011, is the beginning of Rosh HaShana… the first day of Tishrei, 5772!

G-d willing, I will have the pleasure of spending the Jewish High Holy Days in Toronto in The Heart of the Old World.

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[1] A shtiebl, also shtiebel, (Yiddish: שטיבל meaning “little house” or “little room”) is a place used for communal Jewish prayer – basically a tiny synagogue. In contrast to a larger more formal synagogue, a shtiebel is far smaller and approached more casually. A shtiebel is most often a little hole-in-the-wall place where Orthodox Jews, often comprised partially or entirely of hasidim, come to pray and study.

[2] Honourable mention goes to the sweet raisin egg challahs from the Sobey’s in Thornhill.

[3] Heimishe. (Yiddish) means ‘homey.’

[4] Many years ago, it used to be the location of Stroli’s, a kosher food store owned and operated by Rabbi Stroli. I loved going there and talking to his kitchen staff who were almost all Italian! R’ Stroli used to make these meat-filled knishes (we called them ‘cannon balls’) which he would hand out free to his customers.

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The other day, I picked up my new 2012 Quo Vadis Agenda. I prefer the Trinote edition.

I’ve already begun what is, for me, an annual tradition.

(Quo Vadis Trinote Agenda)

I’ve been using a Quo Vadis Trinote ever since 1985, the year I started law school. Ever since then, it’s been an annual ritual for me to take a few days and, bit by bit, enter the relevant information from the previous year’s agenda to the new one. The process is a good review of the past year… the achievements, accomplishments, friends that have come into or gone out of my life, successes and failures, disappointments and pleasant surprises, births, deaths and anniversaries.

I use a yellow high-liter to accentuate certain days or events. I carefully pencil in for each Sabbath the candle lighting times for Friday evenings and the times when Sabbath ends each Saturday night. I also make a note of the Torah portion for that week. Each Jewish holy day, festival, fast day, etc. is marked down using the next year’s Jewish calendar as a guide. Quo Vadis is good enough to note Jewish holidays, even relatively minor ones… but it obviously cannot be expected to provide the degree of detail that a Jewish calendar provides. And I am more than happy to fill them in.

(Trinote Week at a Glace set-up)

I love how the Trinote is set out.

It is good to be able to look at the entire week. The layout also gives plenty of room to write notes below each date or along the right side. I can (and have) crammed a lot of information in the space provided!

Here are some of the features that makes Quo Vadis a superior workhorse appointment book…

  • 13 months, December to December
  • 8 AM to 9 PM schedule
  • 90g, acid-free paper
  • Annual planning calendars for 2009 and 2010
  • Daily notes
  • Tear-off corner opens to week in progress
  • Sewn binding, lays flat when open
  • Special Receipts & Payments pages
  • Detachable address book
  • Refillable

Each day of the year is also numbered both from its position from the beginning of the year and from its proximity to the end of the year. For example, February 28th is designated ’59-306′ – it is the 59th day of the year and it is the 306th day from the end of the year.

People keep saying that I am nuts to spend so much time and effort writing things by hand into an old-fashioned paper agenda. They say a digital agenda is much more efficient, convenient and less bulky. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I LIKE writing things in pencil each day. I like re-writing my address book each year. Yes, I can if I wanted to simply slip out the address book and fit it in to the new cover… but that would completely miss the entire point of the whole re-writing exercise. I want to go through it all, taking out people and numbers I no longer call and adding in new people and contacts. It’s a ‘taking stock’ process… a combination of inventory and auditing.

(Someone’s handwriting is a lot neater than mine!)

From mid-October to the end of November, it is admittedly a bit awkward having to carry around both this year and next year’s agenda but it is a small price to pay, as far as I am concerned.

I look forward to sitting in what will hopefully be my new ‘office’ in the restaurant which occupies my old café (more about this in a future blog), enjoying myself as I transfer my life from one book to another.

It is no coincidence that this ritual coincides on most years with Rosh HaShana with its themes of contemplation, reflection and self-examination, of starting anew, starting fresh and moving forward.

As I inscribe my new book with the events in my life, may we all be inscribed for a good year in the Book of Life.

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I love baroque music. Bach, Handel, Vivaldi, Purcell. I can’t get enough!

I think one of the first pieces of baroque music I heard as a kid was Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, probably as a cartoon soundtrack.

When I was in college and later on when I was working, it seemed that Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons was everywhere.

In law school, my internal soundtrack was Bach’s The Brandenburg Concertos.

I must confess that in recent years, I don’t listen to baroque music as much as I’d like. Not sure why. I guess part of it has to do with the fact that all of my baroque music was on cassette tapes. Never did get around to buying any of it on CDs.

Whenever I do hear it, it lifts my spirits and transports me to another world.

When I was in high school, it began to dawn on me that baroque music, especially Bach’s fugues (e.g. his ‘Little’ Fugue [G minor])… was math. It was as if someone had taken a chalkboard full of mathematical figures and made it audible. By this time in my life, I was able to read and play music so in addition to hearing the math, I was able to see the math charted in the musical scores.

They say that over time, an artist will stop seeing the world as others see it and begin to view things in terms of planes and perspectives. I think that’s what happened to me at some point. Baroque music stopped being simply wonderful melodies and counter-melodies, themes repeated and overlapping one another… but became instead a fascinating arrangement of numerals and decimals, interweaving to produce a breathtaking result.

While you couldn’t pay me enough to live in Europe between 1600 and 1750, the music of that era sure was outstanding!

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As so often happens, a headline caught my attention while I was perusing the online edition of ScienceDaily (July 1, 2011). [1]

Loudest Animal Recorded for the First Time!

And the winner is… The Lesser Water Boatman!

The article states, “Scientists have shown for the first time that the loudest animal on earth, relative to its body size, is the tiny water boatman, Micronecta scholtzi. At 99.2 decibels, this represents the equivalent of listening to an orchestra play loudly while sitting in the front row.”

Others have compared it to the volume of a passing freight train.

And when they say tiny, folks… I’m here to tell you, they mean tiny! Two millimetres. That’s it.

So, how does this little pipsqueak come up with The Big Sound? I am SO glad you asked!

Science Daily puts it this way, “The song, used by males to attract mates, is produced by rubbing two body parts together, in a process called stridulation. In water boatmen the area used for stridulation is only about 50 micrometres across, roughly the width of a human hair. “We really don’t know how they make such a loud sound using such a small area,” says Dr. Windmill.”

Thinking that perhaps the writers at Science Daily were being a bit coy, I tried to look up exactly what was rubbing against what. Wikipedia failed to disappoint! “M. scholtzi is easily differentiated from other species in this genus by the twisted left paramere of the male genitalia… The male of this species produces its underwater courtship song by stridulating a ridge on its penis across corrugations on its abdomen, the area involved measuring only 50 micrometres across, or about the thickness of a human hair. “

The boys at Wired Science put it rather more bluntly, “Bug’s Penis Makes Loudest Animal Sound“!

As we say down in central Arkansas, ‘yew jus’ cain’t make this shit up’!

_________________________________________________________________________________________

[1] Special thanks go out to my dear friend, Kelly, who introduced me to Science Daily.

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Take a moment to consider the following…

Take a Lie and add 1% Truth. The result? A Lie. Take the Truth and add 1% Lie. The result? A Lie.

  • Lies Are Stronger Than The Truth

Lies can be tailor-made to fit any set of circumstances in order to be credible. The Truth is often awkward, clumsy and, at times, highly improbable.

  • Lies Are More Adaptable and User-Friendly Than The Truth

Liars have a superficial confidence. Accomplished Liars are calm, collected and speak in a straightforward manner. People who tell the Truth are often nervous, mumble, slur their words and stumble over themselves trying to make sure they are believed.

  • Liars Are Believable. Innocent People Look and Sound Like They’re Lying

The Truth is found everywhere. Any dolt can tell the Truth. In fact, sometimes people will pay a lot of money to get rid of the Truth. Really good Lies, on the other hand, are valuable works of art which are in great demand (Can you say ‘Spin Doctors’?). When was the last time you heard about someone being paid to tell the Truth? 

  • Lies Are More Valuable Than The Truth

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The above passage is from my recollection of a book I read ages ago [1], during the summer between high school and college.

I was thinking of these little gems when I was faced with a serious ethical quandary last week in my work as a criminal defence lawyer.

<insert smart remarks here re criminal lawyers and ethics>

The problem ate me up. I wrestled with it all night. It was driving me nuts and I couldn’t see a good way out of it… just ways that were less bad than the others. I came back to court the next day exhausted from the ordeal that night.

I am sometimes asked by ‘normal people’ (ie non-lawyers), “How do you sleep at night representing all those guilty rapists and child molesters??” [2]  The truth is that criminal lawyers have very high standards of ethics. No, really. We do. I’m serious.

Remember that scene in the movie Liar Liar where the Jim Carey character (a lawyer who is incapable of telling a lie [long story]) is preparing the gigolo/boyfriend to lie at trial and then realizes, to his horror, “Oh no! I can’t ask a question if I know the answer is a lie!”

That’s actually true. Lawyers at trial cannot ask a question of their own witness if they know that witness is going to lie in response to the question. If, in the course of examining one of our witnesses, he or she starts lying, we are obligated to change the subject immediately. We cannot participate in perpetrating a fraud upon the court. If it turns out that our client insists on continuing to lie under oath, we are obligated to remove ourselves as his or her lawyer. Our duty as officers of the court trumps our duty to our own clients.

So… back to the ethical dilemma. After consulting with several colleagues that I respect and trust, I was able to resolve the problem and get myself free of the quandary with my ethics intact, not only technically but morally. *phew*

Representing rapists, child molesters, wife-beaters, prostitutes, pornographers and drug dealers? Piece of cake. I sleep like a baby. [3]

But… had I listened to my baser instincts,…had I listened to my evil inclination instead of my good inclination (the Jewish equivalent of the little angel and devil sitting on your shoulders)… and not done the right thing with respect to the ethical dilemma?

Now THAT is something with which I would have had trouble sleeping.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

[1] I try not to give my stock response, “On a sack of money!” (Anyone who knows how little public defenders get paid would get the sarcasm of that remark).

[2] The Rape of the A.P.E. (American Puritan Ethic: The Official History of the Sex Revolution, 1945-1973: The Obscening of America, an R.S.V.P) by Allen Sherman.

[3] This subject will most likely be the topic of a future bl*g, since I get questions like this all the time.

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This spring has been cold, damp and overcast with almost no sunshine. Until today, the temperature has rarely gone above 15C (60F) and is often quite a bit lower than that. People have been complaining for two months now how miserable the weather has been and how they yearn for sunshine and warm weather.

So far, this has been my Dream Spring.

I dislike warm weather. I despise hot weather. Mugginess drives me to distraction. I detest bright days. I literally can’t stand the feel of sunlight on my skin. Spending days on end sunbathing on some tropical island is my idea of Hell. Suffice it to say that I am in no hurry for “nice weather” to arrive.

A few days ago, it was heavily overcast and quite gloomy during the day. Everything had this wonderful monochrome quality, like an old black and white photograph or film noire. The temperature was around 12 – 14C (about 54 – 58F) and there was a gentle breeze. While not raining or misting, it was rather damp. If every day of the year could be like that, I’d be one happy little camper! I could wear a shirt and sweater, maybe even a jacket, and not feel uncomfortably warm. I wouldn’t have to squint at a bright sky or have to wear sunglasses at all times. And my skin wouldn’t feel like it wanted to peel off of my face and arms. Most of all, I wouldn’t have to perspire like Albert Brooks in Broadcast News.

Some people have suggested that I should move to another part of the world. I suspect a few of these suggestions had little to do with my ‘warm, sunny weather’ issues. Northern Ireland, Northern Scotland, especially the Outer Hebrides, have all received honourable mention. Northern Siberia – a somewhat less honourable mention.

One might think that someone like me would prefer the winter months. Sadly, I hate snow and ice about as much as I hate sunshine and warm weather. In fact, a sunny winter day is in may ways worse. I get the sunlight directly from above and I get it reflected off of that repellent white blanket that clutters up so much of the ground in January and February. And say what you will about rain, at least you don’t have to shovel it… or so I tell people when they register disbelief at my aversion to the fluffy winter wonderland stuff.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind snow as a kind of general abstract concept. It looks very nice on Yuletide greeting cards. I resent having to deal with snow. I don’t care to shovel it, walk through it or drive on it. As for ice, unless one is a hockey player, figure skater or a Zamboni driver I don’t see the need for so much ice. Ice in a glass of Diet Coke? Absolutely! Wouldn’t dream of being without it. But is it really necessary to have it coat or rather encrust practically everything for two or three months of the year?

Back to my Dream Spring. In my little corner of The Great White North (or as it’s been lately, The Great Wet North), we don’t really have much of a spring. Usually, there is one last winter snowstorm in April and then we go directly into summer. But this year, for the first time since I started noticing, we not only have a spring,  so far we have The Perfect Spring.

It may very well be the last of its kind in my lifetime, so suck it up, princesses! Pack up your Seasonal Affective Disorder in your old kit-bag and smile, smile, smile!

You’ll all be kvetching about the heat and humidity soon enough, believe me!

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Sunday afternoon, May 22, 2011, my kids board a plane and fly off to Israel.

Exhibit One, my 21 year old daughter, and Exhibit Two, my 19 year old son, are spending 10 days there as part of the Taglit-Birthright Israel program.

I am very excited for them. I’ve never been to Israel. (Full disclosure: I’ve never been to Japan, either)

I am sure they will be taken around to the usual places… Tel Aviv, the Dead Sea, the Golan Heights, the Sea of Galilee, Masada. And most importantly, to my mind, Jerusalem, especially the Old City. I know they will have a good time and make new friends. And they will, no doubt, be given an opportunity to get their photo taken on a camel. The mind boggles at the thought of Exhibit One voluntarily getting within spitting distance of a desert Cadillac. Camels are notoriously ill-tempered beasts.

I am hoping the trip will have a positive long-term effect on them in that it helps connect them even more strongly to their land, their people and their religion. They will get to see with their own eyes the places with which I have only connected intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. I’ve seen hundreds and hundreds of photos and film clips of The Kotel (i.e. The Western Wall). They will get to stand in front of it and touch with their own hands the ancient stone blocks.

How I envy them! My children were born as Jews. They grew up in a Jewish home, attended full-time hebrew day school, had Shabbos dinners, Passover seders, Hanukah parties, bar and bas mitzvah celebrations, and went up north to sleep over at Jewish summer camps. And now they will get a chance to experience something that has been unattainable for most Jews throughout our history… to be in Israel, in Jerusalem, at a time when the land belongs once again to the Jewish people. How I envy them!

Today is the 33rd day of the Omer period… the 7 weeks between the beginning of Passover and the holy days of Shavuos (the biblical Feast of Weeks)  when we commemorate G-d giving us the Torah on Mount Sinai. While these weeks are a period of great solemnity, this day… Lag B’Omer, the 33rd day of the 49-day Omer period… is a period of celebration and joy.

This year more than ever.

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