My 300th Kosher Samurai post!

According to the benevolent overlords at WordPress, this is my 300th posting.

Hard as it may be to believe, folks, 300 Kosher Samurai articles and counting!

I’m having a blast posting on this blog and I hope that you are enjoying yourselves.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for your kind comments and encouragement.

More to come!

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Loonies I Have Lunched With (Part 23): Damsels in Distress [1 & 2]

Those who are familiar with my professional life know that I defend the downtrodden and, in particular, rescue Damsels in Distress.

By Damsels in Distress, I mean young ladies primarily but not exclusively between the ages of 12 and 29 who have gotten involved with the wrong end of the criminal justice system.

They need assistance. They need legal advice. They need someone to come to their aid when they are being tormented by The Forces of Evil (i.e. police, prosecutors, probation officers, etc.)

(Our local courthouse – Damsel in Distress central!)

And sometimes, they need lunch, bless their little cotton socks.

On more than a few occasions, I have had the opportunity to have them join me when I visit the local cafe (i.e. ‘my office’).

For the first time, two have agreed to grace the pages of my blog.

Two of my favourite Damsels in Distress are BD and JT.

(At my ‘office’: BD – pouting somewhat, and JT – somewhat content)

I have to say right off the bat that neither of these charming young ladies has a criminal record. They were neither convicted nor found guilty of committing any kind of offence whatsoever. They did get into a wee bit of trouble but the matter against them was withdrawn.

Neither are they what I would call ‘regulars’ or ‘frequent flyers’ in our court system.

They are, in short, a couple of sweetie-pies.

(BD perks up after learning she’ll not be at one of Her Majesty’s guest houses)

BD and JT are the kinds of girls who sometimes find themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Luckily for them, when something in their lives goes horribly wrong, they can (and do) contact me to help them out.

And it’s absolutely my pleasure to do so!

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Fencing Chart

I’m a bit of a sword nut.

So is my son, really.

My apartment has been described as ‘bristling with weaponry!’

Judge my delight, then, when I ran across this little chart.

Love it. Had to share it!

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I Lost My Office… AGAIN!!

As followers of this blog know, I have a long and tortured past when it comes to my ‘office’… a certain spot at a certain address which has gone through various incarnations over the last few years.

Originally, I set up shop there when it was The Café on Main.

(Cafe on Main – my office, as it then was)

Then, when it was the Ambrosia Café, I re-inserted myself at the same spot and declared that my office was open once more!

(Ambrosia – my office, right side, farthest table back)

In its present incarnation, the Bridgewater Café has provided me my office space once more. I felt I was, once again, firmly ensconced.

(Bridgewater – my office, in front of the counter near the pillar)

That is, until I walked into the Bridgewater last Tuesday!

Judge my chagrin when my office was replaced with a couch, coffee table and some armchairs!

The pain. The loss. The sense of betrayal.

The lovely Shannon gave some lame excuse about the City finding that there were too many seats/tables for the number of bathrooms available and forced them to reduce the seating space.

(Here’s a shot of the lovely Shannon NOT coming to my rescue!)

Be that as it may, I would have hoped that the staff would have blocked any such attempt to eliminate my office.

Shannon should have put up a fight. I suppose she felt that you can’t fight City Hall. Or at least you can try but you will most likely be charged with assault.

(The fair Ashley – she would have stopped it)

I know for a fact that the fair Ashley, given the opportunity, would have stormed over to City Hall (kitty corner to the Bridgewater) like an angry, torch-wielding villager in a Universal Studios horror movie.

Alas, the damage had been done.

(There it is… GONE!)

This is what has become of my precious office space.

I don’t know which is worse… not having an office… or going to the café, sitting at another table and looking longingly at where my office used to be.

I am NOT happy.

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How Big is the Universe?

How Big is the Universe?

I remember when my son, Exhibit Two, told me that the universe has no edge and no centre. He stood there grinning while he watched my head explode.

The other day, I ran into this video that explains it a bit better.

It still blows my mind but at least I can follow, more or less, that the narrator is saying.

Have fun. And hold on to your hats!

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Going to Israel (2)

On Monday, I arrived in Israel for the first time in my life after so many years… decades… of waiting, hoping, praying.

I came alone.

I knew it was going to be emotional. I knew it was going to be intense.

I was prepared… or so I thought.

It was like being prepared to be hit by a bus… compared to actually being hit by a bus.

When the plane touched down in Tel Aviv, I began weeping. [1]

I could barely stand. Other passengers grabbed their carry on bags and headed out. I was in a daze.

I made my way through a blur of tears. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop. I moved as if in a trance. Was this really happening? Am I in one of the thousands of dreams and daydreams I’ve had over the last 30 or 40 years?

I was nervous about being questioned by Israeli authorities. Who was I? Where was I from? Where was I born? Why was I coming to Israel? Was I Jewish? A Jew with an Italian name? Were my parents Jewish? Did I convert? What rabbinical court converted me? My daughter lives in Israel? She immigrated to Israel? Where does she live? What is her address? Is this my first visit? What prayer does a Jew make when he embarks on a trip? Recite the first line. Do I wear tefillin? When do I wear them? When do I NOT wear them? What was the Torah reading for last Shabbes? What’s the Torah reading for next Shabbes? Was I married? Did I have an aufrufen? Did I read from the Torah? What was the Torah portion? Can I recite the first line from my haftorah portion? What holiday is coming up in 2 weeks? What book is read? Recite the blessings that are read before the book is read. Can you read the first few lines from that book? Do you know the melody that goes with that reading?

I had heard so many stories about Israeli security. I was nervous. I stepped up to the customs officer and handed her my passport.

“What is the purpose of your visit?”

I explained that this was my first visit to Israel and that I came to see my daughter who made aliyah (i.e. emigrated to Israel) a year ago.

“Where does she live?”

I told her she lives in Ramat Gan.

“How long are you going to be in Israel?”

I said I was staying for two weeks, returning on February 25.

The customs officer looked at me for a few moments, sizing me up.

She smiled and handed me back my passport and told me to proceed to baggage claims.

I walked to the baggage claim area and searched for my luggage. A plain black suitcase. My dear friend (and international travel guide) Tracy suggested I attach some brightly-coloured masking tape or cloth to make it distinguishable. I found it. Both wheels were broken off.

I extended the handle and dragged the suitcase behind me as I moved out into the main lobby. I felt numb. It all seemed so unreal. I couldn’t help feeling that I was going to wake up at any moment.

A tall handsome young man with a wide smile. Tomer. My daughter’s boyfriend. He waves and comes to me, giving me a big warm tight hug.

And then I see my beloved daughter. I’ve not laid eyes on her in over a year.

I cry again. I can’t help it. Tomer helps me with my crippled suitcase.

We walk out into the fresh air. I breathe it deep into my lungs.

I’m here. I feel I’ve finally come home to a place to which I’ve never been before.

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[1] Actually, I started crying as soon as I heard the landing gear lowering. 

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Just When I Thought I Was Out… The Bacon Pulls Me Back In!

Just When I Thought I Was Out…

They Pull Me Back In…

With Bacon!!

It’s quite remarkable really…

(Darth Bacon!)

This seemingly endless supply of bacon-related artifacts.

Thanks yet again to all the friends and readers who provide me with this outstanding bacon-related photographs!

From the cute…

To the somewhat nerdy.

From the historical…

To the hysterical!

From the political…

to the Existential!

From casual fashion…

to the goofy…

To the Newfie!

And of course….

a portrait of Kevin Bacon… made from bacon!

Let us keep bacon in its proper place…

In a frying pan. Waiting to kill you.

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Clock Around the Rock?? (Quantum Mechanics & Time)

The geeks and nerdlings over at ScienceDaily.com have once again failed to disappoint!

A recent article begins,  ”Ever since he was a kid growing up in Germany, Holger Müller has been asking himself a fundamental question: What is time?

That question has now led Müller, today an assistant professor of physics at the University of California, Berkeley, to a fundamentally new way of measuring time.

Taking advantage of the fact that, in nature, matter can be both a particle and a wave, he has discovered a way to tell time by counting the oscillations of a matter wave. A matter wave’s frequency is 10 billion times higher than that of visible light.

“A rock is a clock, so to speak,” Müller said.

(Quantum mechanically, mass can be used to measure time and vice versa)

In a paper appearing in the Jan. 11 issue of Science [1], Müller and his UC Berkeley colleagues describe how to tell time using only the matter wave of a cesium atom. He refers to his method as a Compton clock because it is based on the so-called Compton frequency of a matter wave.

While Müller’s Compton clock is still 100 million times less precise than today’s best atomic clocks, which employ aluminum ions, improvements in the technique could boost its precision to that of atomic clocks, including the cesium clocks now used to define the second, he said.

“This is a beautiful experiment and cleverly designed, but it is going to be controversial and hotly debated,” said John Close, a quantum physicist at The Australian National University in Canberra. “The question is, ‘Is the Compton frequency of atoms a clock or not a clock?’ Holger’s point is now made. It is a clock. I’ve made one, it works.”

Müller welcomes debate, since his experiment deals with a basic concept of quantum mechanics — the wave-particle duality of matter — that has befuddled students for nearly 90 years.

“We are talking about some really fundamental ideas,” Close said. “The discussion will create a deeper understanding of quantum physics.”

Müller can also turn the technique around to use time to measure mass. The reference mass today is a platinum-iridium cylinder defined as weighing one kilogram and kept under lock and key in a vault in France, with precise copies sparingly dispersed around the world. Using Müller’s matter wave technique provides a new way for researchers to build their own kilogram reference.

Müller hopes to push his technique to even smaller particles, such as electrons or even positrons, in the latter case creating an antimatter clock. He is hopeful that someday he’ll be able to tell time using quantum fluctuations in a vacuum.

Müller’s coauthors are post-doctoral fellows Shau-Yu Lan, Michael A. Hohensee and Damon English; graduate students Pei-Chen Kuan and Brian Estey; and Miller Postdoctoral fellow Justin M. Brown. All are in UC Berkeley’s Department of Physics. The work was supported by the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation, the David and Lucile Packard Foundation, the National Institute of Standards and Technology, the National Science Foundation and the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

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[1] Journal Reference:

Shau-Yu Lan, Pei-Chen Kuan, Brian Estey, Damon English, Justin M. Brown, Michael A. Hohensee, and Holger Müller. A Clock Directly Linking Time to a Particle’s Mass. Science, 10 January 2013 DOI: 10.1126/science.1230767

(PhotoCredit: Holger Müller lab)

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Loonies I Have Lunched With (Part 21): Jennifer M

Of the loonies with whom I have lunched, occasionally there are loonies who have also made lunch for me.

Near the top of the list is the delightful cook and chef, Jennifer M.

She and I have known each other lo these many years.

When I first met Jennifer, she and the remarkably grumpy Alyssa Krabbykova (more on her in another blog) worked at my old hang-out and office, The Café on Main when it was located across from the courthouse at which I work.

Jennifer has since moved on to a few other restaurants but we have always managed to keep in touch and, occasionally,  get together… at least for a coffee.

Sometimes, Jennifer and I would go to one of her other restaurants  The Smokin’ Buddha in Port Colborne, for dinner. [1]

Jennifer is fun and imaginative. She is wonderful at playing ‘what if…?’ But Jennifer is not all fun and games. She can be quite rigid at times and has been known to be rather firm, especially when it comes to my behaviour.

It was Jennifer who instituted The Rules. These were guidelines that set out how I was to conduct myself (or more often NOT conduct myself) when at the café.

We don’t see each other nearly enough but when we do, we always have a great time.

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[1] If you are even in the area, you have to check it out!

This is my 250th blog post for Kosher Samurai! Woohoo!

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Pythagorean Theorem Demonstrated by Water

Pythagorean Theorum: The area of the square of the hypotenuse of a right-angled triangle is equal to the sum of the square on the other two sides.

The theorem can be written as an equation relating the lengths of the sides a, b and c, often called the Pythagorean equation:

where c represents the length of the hypotenuse, and a and b represent the lengths of the other two sides.

And that’s the way it is usually explained.

This way is MUCH cooler!

It is a demonstration of the Pythagorean Theorem using water.

Who said Euclidean geometry can’t be fun!

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