I think I am developing a rational fear of Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann.
At first, I thought Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann were amusing – the way looking at the cover of the old Weekly World News while standing in line at the grocery store was amusing. Oh look! Kim Kardashian’s Butt Explodes! Osama Bin Laden Killed by Chuck Norris! How to Sell Your Soul to the Devil!! Yuks aplenty while waiting for the lady in front of me to dig out the super-duper extra-special coupon that saves her 5 cents and costs me $50 of my time.
Then I heard reports that a disturbing number of Americans were taking the whole Palin-Bachmann thing seriously. Mind you, a disturbing number of Americans take just about anything seriously. A disturbing number of Americans believe they saw Elvis at the local diner last week. [1] A disturbing number of Americans believe that the lunar landings were fake but space aliens are real. A disturbing number of Americans bought Pet Rocks and The Nothing Book (ask your parents)! You got to take that whole ‘disturbing number of Americans’ thing with a grain of salt.
I’m still trying to coin proper names for the various Palin-Bachmann Symptoms. The taxonomy is proving difficult.
Tea-Party-Terror Syndrome? Scary-Lady Aversion Complex? Oncoming-Train Paranoia? Grizzly Mom Melissophobia?
Perhaps I’m going at it from too narrow an angle. The Palin-Bachmann (P-B) group of disorders may not be entirely psychological but also partly physiological as well. P-B Left-Leaning Inner-Ear Imbalance and P-B Knee Twitch Response could be outward manifestations of pre-existing physical conditions.
Conditioned responses of a more Pavlovian nature would include P-B Repetitive Forehead Percussion Injury, P-B Acute Headache/Migraine Pain and the less common but more serious P-B-Induced Projectile Vomiting.
Have you experienced such symptoms in the last year or seen their effects on those near and dear to you? What do you call it? If we give it a name (or several), we can begin the process of fighting back!
Let’s all make Palin-Bachmann Symptoms Awareness our goal for 2012!
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[1] Full Disclosure: Several years ago, I saw Elvis Presley at the Tim Hortons in Dundas, Ontario. Not the nice new smoke-free Tim Hortons – the older drive-thru Tim Hortons. It was The King!
Tea-Party-Terror Syndrome gets my vote. You had fun with this entry….and i had a couple chuckles.
Michelle: Glad I could give you a smile. I fear we’ll see more of these disorders over the next 18 months!
I am afraid….. very afraid! I definitely have the Palin Phobia! I am less aware of Bachman, thank G*d, as I don’t think my nerves could take a double onslaught. I am not only in fear of Palin, but even more so, of her followers, people who believe and may use their right to vote to elect her to a position of power. They scare me even more as you can’t tell by looking at them that they are her followers. At least Palin is recognizable. Is there a ‘cure’ in the works? I don’t think ‘slamming her with my shoe’, like I do with spiders, is going to be very effective. :/
bunnynoah: Throwing/beating shoes on the object of your disapproval is very big in the muslim world but I think it loses its effectiveness here, notwithstanding the ‘throw the shoe at Bush during the press conference’ incident years ago. Palin is scary but Bachmann actually makes Palin seem like a reasonable well-spoken moderate! As they say, “more as it happens!” Stay tuned to The Daily Show and the Colbert Report for the latest P-B related hijinx!
The main difference between trying to kill a spider with your shoe or trying to kill Palin with your show is one is actually a good thing and deserves to live despite your phobia. (yes, the spider.)
I agree the shoe would be ineffective and might get you mistaken for a middle eastern male (have I stepped too far?)
I, thankfully, have not heard of Bachmann yet but if she is cut from the same cloth as Palin, it can’t be good. Get out the camomille tea, do relaxed breathing and let’s find a solution to Tea Party Terror Syndrome!
Hey, we are reading each others blogs at the same time – that must mean something freaky in a parallel universe. I was also just reading up on this Bachman character last night for the first time.
How about the Bachmann-Palin Overkill? (I’m sure Randy and Fred won’t notice anything similar)
Flyfisherjo: You always manage to step just right. Nary a faux pas! And thank your stars that you’ve not run into Bachmann yet. I’m afraid it can’t last much longer though. What with the US elections and all, the Palin-Bachmann machine is going to be revving up, for sure. As for being cut from the same cloth, Bachmann is a more stupid, less charismatic and even wackier woman than Palin. Be afraid.
VioletSky: Hmmm… some kind of blogger parallel universe sync thing. I like it a lot! Yeah, Bachmann really is an interesting piece of work. Also like the Bachmann-Palin Overkill idea. Well done!
Damn that Violetsky beat me to the Bachman-Palin Overkill/Overboard/Overload/Overdose thing.
XUP: Ya gotta be quick around here! The early bird gets the worm. Mind you, being early didn’t work out so well for the worm, did it? Hmmm…