By now, the more perceptive among us have realized that… surprise… the Rapture has not occurred as predicted by that old preacher guy out in California. I am sure last week, a lot of people could recall his name. By Monday, it’ll be ‘that old preacher guy out in California’ and by Wednesday ‘that old preacher guy’. By Friday, we’ll be down to “What preacher? Oh yeah, the end of the world guy. Is he still alive?”
The exact time of the supposed Big Event was a bit vague. The theory I liked was that it was going to happen at 6:00 pm Saturday May 21, 2011, wherever you were. So, when it was 6pm Saturday evening in Tokyo… ZAPu!! 6pm in Moscow… ZAPski!! 6pm in Paris… le ZAP!! And so on, with the Rapture starting at the International Date Line and rolling across the earth, time zone by time zone, with the whole shebang over in 24 hours. This would give the rest of the world a ‘heads up’, as it were, and provide seven billion people the opportunity to freak out, knowing with absolute certainty that The End Is Near. Certainly a lot nearer than we thought on Friday morning!
This particular Rapture prediction now goes the way of other banner headline flops like Y2K, swine flu, and, for those of us who are old enough to remember, killer bees. An eschatological Comet Kahoutek. (Ask your parents)
The True Believer will not be all that shaken, however. Letdowns, disappointments and setbacks like this only serve to make the zealot more firmly committed than ever before. Fanaticism is not for the faint-hearted.
But what about the rest of us? Sure, we all had a week or so of amusement and silly Rapture jokes. It even made it onto Doonesbury.
From what I understand of this not-very-widely-held belief, in the Rapture the ‘select few’ are spirited away to heaven because a) they’re saved and destined to be in heaven anyway, and b) it would be unfair for these saintly souls to have to go through the upcoming shit-storm that’s in store for the rest of us left behind.
Luckily, I didn’t have to wrestle with such weighty theological issues. At 6pm Saturday, I was taking pleasure in a rare – for this year, anyway – dry and surprisingly sun-washed springtime late-afternoon. I was in TJLD (more on this in an upcoming piece) and, as a result, luxuriating in a self-imposed news and media blackout.
And yet, as I sit here clicking at the keyboard in the last hour of May 21, 2011, I wonder how many genuinely devout church-goers have this nagging thought in the back of their collective mind… “What if the Rapture happened and we didn’t know it or rather, we couldn’t tell? What if old preacher guy was right all along and the Rapture DID happen when and as he predicted… but no one was deemed worthy?” Seven billion people in the world and not a single person made the cut?
What if maybe, just maybe… the heavenly transporter was fired up and ready to rip… but there was no one to lock onto? How could you tell the difference between that and the Rapture not happening at all?
And, if none of the proposed or supposed Elect got Raptured… if none of them left, as it were… can the rest of us be truly considered left behind?
Interesting point.
Personally I am disappointed. I really was looking forward to Sarah Palin, Glen Beck and Fox News being taken up and leaving the rest of us in peace.
No, as Howard Camping clearly spaketh – 200 million were going to be going and there were going to be rolling earthquakes. We could hardly have missed that.
Flyfisherjo: It would be a lot quieter without the Foxers around, no doubt. But think of all those funny bits that will no longer be on The Daily Show and The Colbert Report! I’m still saddened that The Donald isn’t running for President!
XUP: I think Howie’s gonna have to do a bit of tweaking on his theories in light of recent non-events. Speaking of rolling earthquakes, I can’t help but picture satellite images of rolling earthquakes and the accompanying tsunamis moving from east to west like a big tectonic stadium wave!
That\’s fantastic. I like way you present it
[...] on what the real end of the world is going to look like – if indeed, it ever happens. Like the Kosher Samauri, I wonder if maybe the Rapture (if such a thing exists) might not be more of an ongoing, subtle [...]
discounted: Thanks for your kind words!
XUP: Thanks for the mention! You are too kind.
That Eric Hoffer book sounds really interesting. I’m going to add it to my must read list.
It was funny to hear his excuses when nothing happened. I wonder what he’ll say come October…
His excuses meaning Harold Camping, not Hoffer..:)
Pauline: If you can find a copy (I’m not sure if it is still in print but it is easy enough to do a Chapters-Indigo search), pick it up! It is a real insight into the mindset of the people who get involved with cults and various other groups and organizations. As for Harold Camping, I somehow get the feeling we haven’t heard the last of the good reverend. Why do I hear the old song “See you… in September!”?